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The Flip Flop

Updated: Apr 7, 2021

More and more lately I am seeing how much things have changed. I’ve really had to stop and look at not just myself, but those I have been close to these past few years. I am still in a sense of shock with the changes I have seen in just myself. By stopping and really thinking around and noticing all the changes in those in my life, I mean it’s like I’m speechless you could say, just how much has changed.

Looking at all of our lives, it’s almost like we all have flip-flopped our state of living. To better explain, those who were struggling with addiction, or homeless, some have overcome addiction and or have a steady roof over their head. While this happened it's like we flip-flopped with the ones who had been managing to keep a roof over their head, and of course even working a job at that time. These people may have now lost their homes and or jobs. They are now where the addicted or homeless once were. Hence the saying, "they flip-flopped their ways of living."

I will say this is not the case for everyone. The list is far too long for me to mention the large number of individuals who no longer battle with addiction and have lost their lives. I have watched many lose everything they had because now they are locked up in either county jails or state prisons.

I don't know if there really is anyone out there who is completely 100% happy and claiming to have everything they ever wanted. I feel like we are a little guilty in always having some sort of desire to have something else than what they have; such as a bigger house, newer car. Some may have even envy someone else for a life that they live; being not having to work extra hours every week to make ends meet. When this happens to you, well, let's just say I hope it doesn't! I've been guilty of thinking that way and wishing for a life other than what I have. I hate that I even say that right now.

I know it may not seem that bad to want to have a newer car or a bigger house. That can actually be the best motivational tool for us! It's like the saying, "Speak it into existence." So make a goal and achieve it! Being able to put your hard work and dedication into getting something you want, and getting to see the proof of that hard work, to me is almost better than having what you wanted.

Now as for wishing to have a life like someone else, I should never wish that and need to remember how grateful and blessed I am. Just because something looks good to you, does not exactly mean that it's great. You know that saying, "Don't judge a book by its cover." There may be some people who have lifestyles that might look amazing, that definitely doesn't mean that it would be something better for me. Some of those people who had a life that I oh so briefly thought about wanting, yea well some of them are sitting locked up or going place to place for a place to lay their head. That's what I get for judging something by the cover huh.

All I know at this point, all I say is I am grateful for where I am today. There were many nights that I went to sleep, wishing I didn't have to wake the next day. Wishing that I didn't have to live one more day in the life I was living at that time. I didn't think that I could ever get through the nightmare that was my life. I envied those who had a spot they stayed at or could go to at night, I envied those who had a partner by their side. Most of all I envied those who had a family. Now there are many that I once envied who are now in their own nightmare, the nightmare I once wished to end by ending my life. I never expected to see those I envied to now be living with so much loss, while I am sitting here having gained so much today.

Today I will be thankful to have not given up on myself. Today I will be blessed to have an amazing man by my side, supporting me while I continue to heal myself. Today and every day, I will keep fighting to improve my life. Most importantly I will also continue to pray every day for so many who deserve to be where I am today but have lost all hope. I know exactly what they are going through. I want them to see what not giving up can do. To be the living proof that giving up is not an option. While I want to continue to succeed, I want to watch so many others around me succeed as well.

Haven't we all lost enough?

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1 Comment

Tina Smith
Tina Smith
Jul 25, 2021

I absolutely love this.

It's the Truth


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