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Life & Death


Can someone try and answer something for me? Why are there classes to teach and prepare us for life coming into the world, but nothing to prepare us for life leaving? There are parenting classes to teach you about giving birth and raising a child. There is always someone there giving advice, sharing experiences, or telling you flat out what to do and not do. When it comes to life, you don’t find anyone getting uncomfortable or unsure of what to say during conversations.


Yet when we have to face any death, it’s a whole different story. We grow up, and become more focused more on living our lives and bringing into the world, in order to continue on our family names. We ultimately know that there comes a time for us all to pass, yet even so, we are still never prepared. There aren’t classes for us to take on how to prepare. There is no way to know how it’s going to feel, what we will think, or to know what we are supposed to do.


No matter how hard we try, we can’t escape reality. We will never accept it. We will never be prepared for it. We have to realize it will bring us sadness and pain no matter where we try to hide. I find myself to usually be that shoulder to cry on or even the one trying to come up with any words possible to try to ease the pain for someone. Yet right now here I am trying to run and hide emotionally from a friend because I don’t want to accept that my 2nd home is the home of my bestie and his mom, and his mom is only getting worse as time continues on. I hate that we know the reality of the future. I hate that I know the type of pain my bestie and other friends and family are going to endure. I hate that there’s nothing I can do to prepare anyone for it or even myself.


When it comes to talking about death, conversations always seem to become harder to have and some even uneasy. Those around us may try to pass on some advice but even that is an uncomfortable moment to share. All you can do is be that supportive shoulder to cry on, because there just aren't any words to say that can help ease any amount of heartbreak one endures.


From the time of birth, that moment becomes a time of celebration that we look forward to. We countdown the days until we get to celebrate with all those friends and family that we care about. As we get older, celebrating with those we care about still remains something we look forward to, we just stop counting the number as to getting another year older. (I think that's just where we dont wanna admit to getting old lol) But something I have come to wonder about now that I am older myself is, why do we only celebrate someone's life while alive? Why are we unable to celebrate the memories and life of someone we cared for that had passed?


Each one of us is different so obviously how we process things is also different from one another. I know I have lost family members as well as many friends, and each death has affected me differently. Some may have been easier to accept because I know that they are in a better place. However there are some that after all these years, I still think it's unfair and have a hard time accepting that they are gone. I've seen loss bringing some closer together and then I've experienced loss tearing families apart. That is one of the reasons why I ask myself why we can't continue living life for the one we lost. To celebrate the life they lived and all that they gave to each of us. It should bring us closer because you can never get that time back.


I know we never want to talk about the "what ifs" of something happening to one of us. But sadly it something we should do with the ones we love. I know we never want to talk about the "this is" happening to one of us. But there is no right way to say goodbye. There is no way to prepare. We just have to remember to take time with someone when asked. One day we are going to wish we could have that time with someone we love. It's about taking things one day at a time and living each day giving all the love we can. Most of all we have to learn to live life at its fullest because you can know what tomorrow may bring.




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Sllim Ydnar
Sllim Ydnar
Oct 05, 2021

There is no way to prepare for something, that no one has ever survived to talk about. Birth, knowledge of a trade, or people skills... People have lived these matters successfully. Anyone who's ever died, and was gone long enough to experience something, doesn't come back whole. I personally was dead for 8.5mins., and I don't mean O.D. dead (where your heartbeat is slow enough to be considered dead). I had zero heartbeat for 8.5mins. Luckily I have no long term side effects like brain damage for instance, but I feel that came at a price. In any case, I remember nothing. It was like falling asleep, then waking up, and not remembering your dream. As I was told, I…

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