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Is this Part 2?

Back in part 1, I basically talked about having been the child with a stepparent. Briefly, in the end, you got a small bit of information about how I became a stepparent myself. When I started the whole stepparent blog I was basically lashing out on my keyboard, spilling out every thought and emotion of basically pure hurt and anger, all because of my darlings daughters. It was more one than the other but that's beside the point. Anyways, the more that I wrote, the more I was going back and forth with questions for others out there. As I went on, the paper just got longer and longer and well, that is what gave my wonderful topic more than one Part. I figured I was just going to make it a 2 part special; one being the subject of having a stepparent and the other subject being the stepparent. However now after finishing part 1 and thinking so much about the days that created all this subject matter, well, I feel like we need more than the intended 2 parts.

I'm not sure just where I want to start right now, nor where I want this to go. There are just so many ways all of it can branch out because trust me, the shit has been branching off in my head making me crazy for weeks, or hell, months.

Going back to part 1, I made the comment how those 8 years with my ex-husband were the hardest years of my life. I know that a lot of the reason it was the hardest was truly my horrible marriage. That relationship just made my whole life in general hard. The relationship between us adults brought stress into everything we did and to all our relationships, including the ones we had with the kids as well. My relationship with my ex was just the bonding agent behind those hard years, which made being a mom the hardest years of my life.

Before my current relationship, I had come to believe that all the hard times and obstacles I had during those 8 years were anything but common in relationships and parenting. I really had decided after seeing the true colors of my ex and ex-in-laws, that normal individuals and families do not go through half the crap I had dealt with. Families didn't put each other through the pain, stress, and emotional crap that my ex-family put people through. Kids did not play each parent against each other. Kids didn't use the other parent against a parent in order to benefit themselves just because they wanted something. I really thought that the nasty ways of that family were just something only I had to deal with, that there wasn't another case such as mine. Boy was I wrong.

Now first off, let me say there has never been anything as bad as any of the times involving my ex-husband. He tops the peak of that shit mountain. However, I now see that it wasn't just my relationship then that made being a stepparent hard. I can see that being a stepparent and hell just a mom, in general, is just hard! But again, as I said before, no new mom, single mom, young mom, experienced mom, or any other mom role is harder than the stepmom role.

So here is where we can see some branching-off start to happen. Going back to our school days, just picture those web or cluster outlines we use to make. The topic is that of "Being a Stepparent." Let me list the start of the many subcategories I guess you can say, that I have running through my mind.

  • Stepmom vs Real Mom - having to be both; being one and also dealing with the other

  • Stepmom vs an absent Real Mom

  • Being accepted - either you are or if you aren't, are you ever?

  • The Fights

  • How old is too old to ground?

  • Relationships after The Fights

  • Being a united front

  • How it affects your relationships - with both children and spouse

  • Resentment

  • Standing my ground

  • Letting it go

I think it is safe to say I have had a lot going on, in my head and weighing on me. I have so many branches, and hell some of my branches are getting branches! And I still don't even know where to begin with everything I have running through my mind, dying to come out like diarrhea of the mouth. I don't know, maybe I will just let this be it for now and continue to stew over everything just in my head for a little longer just like I have been. When it's meant to come out, I always find a way for it to just when it's meant to.

Until next time…. Happy parenting!!

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